Of Death and Life and Love
by mochiTheCat
Summary: A narrative of one person's relationship with Anubis: "Most people normally wouldn't appreciate a visit from a God of Death, however, I wasn't most people, and my relationship with Anubis, Egyptian God of Death and Funerals, was far from normal."


Most people normally wouldn't appreciate a visit from a God of Death, however, I wasn't most people, and my relationship with Anubis, Egyptian God of Death and Funerals, was far from normal. Our first encounter was around five years ago: My parents had just died – both of them. At the same time. I was barely fifteen and the loss shattered me. On the day of their funeral, I was feeling pretty dead myself. It was their will to be cremated, their remains stored in some marble wall, but I protested – vehemently. I'll admit: it wasn't pretty but I didn't want to be separated from them, even if they were just ashes, even if they were already gone. I fought with what little strength I had and I probably near killed myself doing it. In the end, everyone else won out and I was pushed aside. Little did I know then, I'd been pushed into the arms of a god – and a pretty handsome one, at that. I'd assumed he was a family friend or a cousin I'd never met; maybe someone's son who had been forced to attend by his parents. He held me as I cried, whispered soothing words as they sealed the last physical representations of my parents away.

I was jostled around between family members for a few months until my maternal grandmother arranged for me to live with her. She had been in a retirement home but decided to get a place on her own so we could live together. It was sweet and cost her a lot, and I wished I'd recognized that then and had been more appreciative. She passed about four years later. And that's when I had my very first conversation with Death.

"Oh it's you again." It was after the funeral, after they'd buried my grandmother in the ground next to my grandfather. It was after all the guests and relatives and religious officials and cemetery groundskeepers had gone, and it was just me. Well, me and now him. "I'm going to stay here a while, so you can tell your parents or whoever sent you to go on home." He didn't say anything but regarded me with eyes that were sadder than mine – an impossibility considering how I had no one left. "Who did you come with anyway?"

"No one," he answered. "I'm always here. This is my realm."

"Realm," I repeated. "Like… you own this cemetery?"

He seemed to contemplate this. "I guess all cemeteries are my territory."

His words confused me and his good-looks were starting to muddle my mind. "You were at my parents' funeral and now you're at my grandmother's; how are we related?"

Somehow, this question brought a smile to his face. "Death is how we're related. I am Anubis."

"Oh were your parents into ancient art and archaeology too?" Because mine were; they were fanatics. I'd grown up with imagery from various ancient civilizations decorating my house – Egypt included.

Anubis – or-so-he-claimed – studied me curiously. "I am Anubis," he repeated. "I am _the_ Anubis."

Fast forward another year or so to Anubis – the Egyptian god, walking into my room. My _hospital_ room. Apparently cemeteries weren't his only territories.

"Hey," I said, looking up from my book. He smiled but otherwise looked sullen. I'd quickly learned this was typical behaviour for him. He walked over and squeezed my hand as he leaned down and kissed me on the head.

"What did the doctors say?" he asked, taking a seat in the chair next to my bed.

I laughed – I couldn't help it! "You're a death god. You know better than the doctors – no matter what they say."

He made a face, one that told me he was being serious; gods alive he was gorgeous to look at. "I'm fine," I said. "Or at least that's what they're telling me. I don't feel fine, of course – I feel like I'm dying."

"Everyone is dying," Anubis reminded me. It was his way of cheering me up.

"I'm a whole lot closer than everyone else though, aren't I?"

"I don't know about that. There's a lovely older woman in the room down the hall who I think has an edge on you." He smiled but it was sad. "Don't focus on death," he told me. "You need to focus on life."

I laughed again, but this time it was bitter. "What life?" I asked him rhetorically. "My parents are gone and so is my grandmother – who was the last living relative I had who knew me and cared for me. Any friends I had in school have gone to college or have gotten jobs and otherwise moved on with their lives, and can't even bring themselves to text me because I'm dying of a horrible, incurable sickness. The only thing I've got going is this small mountain of books and the chance that I might have a disease named after me. Well, and…" My eyes drifted up.

"Me?" Anubis offered.

"Don't look so smug about it."

But it was true. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in love with Anubis, and it wasn't just because he'd appeared to me during two separately devastating life events. He had shown me compassion and kindness; he had provided me with company and encouragement. After my parents died, I'd thought about him many times; after my grandmother died, I clung to him – and he let me. Now, for better or for worse, he was by my side as I walked toward my own death – coming sooner than a summer blockbuster. It was ironic that death had become my life.

"The nurses have agreed to sneak me pudding cups – chocolate ones. I know they're probably doing it because they feel bad for me and know I'm never going to make it, but I'm still pretty excited."

Anubis opened his mouth to speak but his image flickered and I couldn't hear his words. He frowned, realizing he was being pulled into the other dimension – the Duat, I think he called it. When his form became quite solid again, he got to his feet. "Sorry. I have to go," he apologized. "Save me a pudding," he added, leaving me with one of his heart-melting smiles.

I didn't see him for six days. And on the fourth of those six days, I nearly died. I know gods have a lot of work to do, even in this modern day and age, but I was a little hurt that Anubis wasn't around when I'd tiptoed into his arena. When he finally came to see me again, it was in the dead of the night, and I would have been sleeping if I wasn't sleeping all the time, which made it difficult to sleep during normal sleeping hours.

"Hi," he whispered, appearing in my room rather suddenly. He hadn't bothered to use the door this time; just magicked his way in. He sat on the edge of my bed and took the book from my hands, putting it down on the nearby table. He pushed back my hair (which was a mess, but what part of me wasn't) with such gentle affection that all my pent up anger and irritation disappeared.

"Where were you?" I asked, willing myself not to choke on my words. "I almost _died_ , you know."

"I would have been here, if it was truly your time. But you held on."

His pat on the back felt more like a slap in the face. "Yeah I held on. I wanted to stick around long enough to tell you off. Six days you've been gone, and I – almost – died!"

Anubis frowned. "Death is definitive," he said. "There is no almost."

"You are _infuriating_."

It would have been easier to stay angry at the god if he wasn't absolutely mesmerizing when he laughed. When he looked at me again, I realized… he wasn't really looking _at_ me: there was a light and warmth in his eyes that I'd _never_ seen before. But I did know exactly what it meant. "You're in love," I murmured.

"What? No. I was just… It made me think of – " He paused to collect his thoughts enough to form a proper sentence. "Your comment made me think of someone else. Someone I find a bit… vexing. But I'm not in love with – "

I guess even gods could be dense at times. "Yup," I nodded. "You're in love. I can tell." I could tell because the way he looked was how I usually felt about him.

"I can't be in love," he said at last. "I'm a god. She's mortal – even if she has the Blood of the Pharaohs."

I had no idea what he meant by that but I didn't have time to dwell on it either. Most people wouldn't want to hear about the woman the love of their life was crushing on, but again, there was nothing normal about Anubis and I. "So what's her name?" I asked.

He hesitated before answering, "Sadie Kane." He probably didn't notice that he smiled when he said her name. It broke my heart a little, but he looked so happy.

"Well," I said, biting back some tears. "I should probably get some sleep now."

I didn't wait for Anubis to say good-bye before turning over in my bed. Maybe, if I knew that would be the last time I saw him before I definitively died, I would have.

I did see him after I died though. As promised, he was there when my soul drifted out of my body. I guess gods of death are around so souls don't drift about aimlessly, clogging up the atmosphere and stuff, because let me tell you, it takes a while to get used to weightlessness. The most shocking part was seeing my body – not because I wasn't attached to it, but because it was drastically different than my soul form – which was stunning. I mean, my physical body had been beyond ravaged by the disease that killed me, and having died in that state, I kind of imagined my soul would look the same.

"This is how I've always seen you," Anubis informed me, gazing at me with those dreamy brown-eyes of his. "To me, you've always been beautiful."

I wanted to make a snide remark about how he wasn't allowed to say things like that when he was in love with another person, but somehow, I didn't care anymore.

"Can I see her?" I asked as he took my hand and led me out of the hospital. "Sadie."

For a god who was more than a few millennia old, he surprised easy. Or maybe my request was just that unusual. "I'm not going to haunt her or anything," I assured him. "I just want to see her."

With a nod, he agreed.

I can't really tell you how we got where we got to, but after a dizzying trip, I found myself hovering above a small group of people having breakfast. One of those people was a beautiful girl with caramel-coloured hair and blue-eyes. She looked bossy as she talked – maybe teasing the older boy sitting next to her who looked rather helpless – but I instantly liked her. I glanced at Anubis: he was fixated.

"She's lovely," I said sincerely, though I couldn't help but smirk.

He might have forgotten I was there because he didn't respond. "I can find my own way to the afterlife if you want to stay here and… leer."

I guess Anubis didn't want to sound like some creepy five-thousand-year-old man stalking the girl he liked because he immediately looked away and cleared his throat several times. "It's my job to take you," he said, sounding all formal and responsible.

"Well then," I said with what I imagined was a most dazzling smile. "I'm all yours – for one last time."


End file.
